its ME *again?!?!*

oh well back from breakfast..(like i had anything worthy of eating).. my life is full of mishaps and unluck events. oh well i'm a virgo(it looks like my year aint gonna be filled with love anyway) and yup love is the only thing that i have expirenced it only once. ANd i most likely wanna find it again. however.. the joke is that i feel that i have a very faint heart. sure i can commit to one relationship but even before i get into one.. i lose interest. maybe its just me but however i think that person i wanna get always gets away from me.so maybe that's the reason.. whenever i think that the right person comes around..it seems that she's connected in one way or another. and to make it worst, my words seem to become reality and its really making me mad. maybe i'm just not fit for loving.(like if i ever like another person again) .. it seems that its starting to take its toll on me cuz whenever i take time off to think about my life, it seems that i miss out on my soccer frens activities.(sorry guys i noe u guys are mad but my position is really daunting for me so i neeeddd that extra time for myself). haha..oh well today's my friend's birthday and he's having a 'party' on saturday(man really wat kind of party is it when u gotta cook ur own food in water?!?!) haha oh well he's my fren anyway. oh.. ya i'm a volunteeer too now still volunteering and guess wad i'm still young.. haha REALLY barely reaching twenties tooo.. haha sshhh.. haha is really great at times to help others but i dont think i can realy do that now(really if i cant help myself how can i help others..*oh man something serious must be done man and quick its getting too big to be ignored* )... my temper's getting shorter too.. hmm i can hardly control it. nvr felt this way for a very long time.. (really i only felt that way while wrestling my PRIMARY sch frens backstage in the hall during recess).. the feeling that i wanna punch someone so hard that i'll feel the pain too. (MAN this is WEIRD..) think i gotta noe myself better cuz then i can know others better.. (think my entrees for most of my blogs arent gonna be lame anymore.. its gonna be otherwise.. really dark kind.. that is if i can really express myself properly.. what u are reading now is only the beginning and yet is scaring me already.. by writing so much.. haha oh i mean by my way of expressing myself hahah so see ya.. i'll be back tmr.. ya i hope today it'll be a better day(cuz i aint leaving my HOUSE until tmr) *its a house and not a home yet cuz when u dont belong here, u're nvr connected to it and its juz a place for u to stay in and to use its facilities only and nothing more or less*

-Vm