Monday, November 28, 2005

What’s the use of keeping a weblog?.. Net life sucks man.. It’s not real.. Everything that you do in here is like shit.. Maybe worse than shit but people do not seem to care. Weblogs without privacy.. Weblogs that people leave passwords on to get privacy where is the logic in that?

You have a weblog just to write a journal.. You write bad things about people and in the end you get caught.. Then where is the freedom in writing a journal then? People come online just to write because it is much easier and faster to write much more using a computer. But then with this kind of limits, where is the use in it now?

Then you make a weblog with passwords that prevent people to see them and only allow certain people to see them. Ok I get it... you want privacy but...it does not make you any what smarter than what you can be....

The limits that the government give in sight of probable crisis that this weblogs might create is like creating a neck hold on what we should have. In the real world, there is no freedom of speech not one word of it. It is the image that it gives when one speaks of it. The right that the government gives might as well be just an illusion that it itself is so reluctant on giving up. That one thing that it claims to give. That one thing that makes 'us' citizens living in this world. Is that one thing that could make the downfall of our country. Then, the last question comes to mind.

If one thing creates so much trouble, then why say it when not saying it might make the world a better place?


Creating a false hope isn't any better than not giving hope. But once you break that small bit of hope that you give, you will see that in return, people will break all your hopes that you have dreamed.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

been down and out recently.. down with the flu and the cough... still haven recovered.. it has been 5 days.. 5 horrendous days.. days without talk.. days without sch frens.. anyway... felt bored today so went all out to see SI jie's blog... Kah hao's Blog and Hong yuan's blog too... haha noticed alot of funny things...

Anyway...back down to earth... after 2 weeks of unpredictable pain. Back down with two feet that left the ground. Things are changing around me.. so fast and so scary that i cant seem to catch what is happening. people getting attached here and there. and people falling sick...

Guess i'm getting well already.. my body's recovering... not going to have fever anyway.. wont be able to have it.. i can never possibly get to that stage.. only when i'm lucky but... after a night, i'll be alright already... damned...

i need a new skin for my blog before i can get some inspiration man... any suggestions??

Saturday, November 12, 2005

what is wrong with me.. it happens again and again.
against my will, without my knowledge, it always happens.
everytime i like... some person, I lose confidence. i lose interest. i lose myself. Some how i tell myself to go on.. it will turn out alright.. but deep inside, i just know that it wont.
Then i say a wont love again for now. but later on, i will just like another person. shit hole.. wear your heart out on your sleeve and people will like you but then you will become choosy on who you love. i want too much in life that makes loving seem hard. Actually it is hard. This de'javu is making me go sick.

I can show ppl that i'm losing interest when i'm with them just that times they dont see it. When i do start to get bored and think, I turn on my mp3... maybe because i dont have my usual bulky ear piece with me.. that one i like so much.. but that is just a maybe..

I never ever thought about giving up until.. the confidence in me is low... when the time i am unsure that i can ever make the person with me ever happy again.. maybe that is why...things tend to end early for me. I want love that can last. I want it to last long.

How can i ever be calm once more?.how can i be patient once more where i can wait again...

my fren told me that i'm a coward. I'm a good for nothing peron. That i cant last well enuff in a relationship. she even said she predicted something. It she says will come true. i wanna prove her wrong... i want to.. but keeping a relationship is much more than proving a person wrong. its more than that.. maybe i should keep quiet for a while.. maybe then i'll feel better... (isnt this just another phrase that i said in the past?!?!)
where is the person that i can talk to when i need help?.damned. hate promises.