what is wrong with me.. it happens again and again.
against my will, without my knowledge, it always happens.
everytime i like... some person, I lose confidence. i lose interest. i lose myself. Some how i tell myself to go on.. it will turn out alright.. but deep inside, i just know that it wont.
Then i say a wont love again for now. but later on, i will just like another person. shit hole.. wear your heart out on your sleeve and people will like you but then you will become choosy on who you love. i want too much in life that makes loving seem hard. Actually it is hard. This de'javu is making me go sick.

I can show ppl that i'm losing interest when i'm with them just that times they dont see it. When i do start to get bored and think, I turn on my mp3... maybe because i dont have my usual bulky ear piece with me.. that one i like so much.. but that is just a maybe..

I never ever thought about giving up until.. the confidence in me is low... when the time i am unsure that i can ever make the person with me ever happy again.. maybe that is why...things tend to end early for me. I want love that can last. I want it to last long.

How can i ever be calm once more?.how can i be patient once more where i can wait again...

my fren told me that i'm a coward. I'm a good for nothing peron. That i cant last well enuff in a relationship. she even said she predicted something. It she says will come true. i wanna prove her wrong... i want to.. but keeping a relationship is much more than proving a person wrong. its more than that.. maybe i should keep quiet for a while.. maybe then i'll feel better... (isnt this just another phrase that i said in the past?!?!)
where is the person that i can talk to when i need help?.damned. hate promises.