seemingly my posts seems to gets more and more even though i'm writing like one or two posts.. to me, its not really happening on the webbie.. it comes up to 3-4 post... its too much..

ok... now seeing her online.. is like strange...
even having to give a simple double click.. and start a conversation seems hard...everything seems hard... when it seems that i can type so much to strangers online.. in a chatroom.. and all.. typing some caring words... becomes so difficult..

everything i do now seems so difficult... met shawn in cheers during my class chalet... and he.. thought that i was with yulin... =.= she's my da jie... so i told him no... den i just smiled.. when he talked about her..Hmmm den i quickly introed him to yulin... haha learning to change topic.. and it worked... he left... later on... first time i drank long island that night.. aint that nice... but i managed to down 1/2 of it before we went in.. shouldnt have downed it in one shot.. mad man.. that's y my face was all red when i went in... sadly i din knock out.. just got abit.. wild for 1 hour.. yeaps while playing cards...

sea breeze also sucks.. dammit... i'm broke now.. really.. and i owe rain 20 for the chalet... sigh.. dont know what's wrong with me now...slept at 1230 last night... after watching tv... sigh my fone is dead.... literally..

whatever fiqie said is true.. true to the core that forgetting is tough.. yes... and i now am unsure of my abilities to forget..guess she might think that i've already done forgetting her.. but.. sigh..i cant i really cant... during the chalet.. every little thing that i did.. walking alone... den stopping to look at the stars.. reminded me of her.. her blog... that is.. den i stopped doing that.. but my frens started to stare at it... dammit.. den came shawn.. dammit.. sigh.. everything seems to be linked to you.. and whenever i try something... i cant stop this pop up in my head... it comes on.. so very often..



i'm walking in circles..
doing nothing to myself
except feeling the pain of my actions..
i feel so cheap...
yea everytime i see a gerl.. any gerl to be infact
i see u.. literally.. its not that i want it.. just me perhaps..
drugs make u fat.. but u are one that i cant seem to get enough of.
suffering in my own silence.. i tire myself out to sleep.. but everynight
i wake up
i wake up hoping.. to see
the message that u'll never send..
a message that i'll never recieve...
dont see me now..
i'm useless.

1.49pm