ALRIGHT!. got my mulitply setup and rearing to go. got a journal entry inside.. my class pics, a few... 22... and some links that harms no one.. got that done from last night.. and kinda finished it this morn. but i've still got a long way in finishing it..

ok guys its at
http://timidmouse.multiply.com
(u guys gotta type it out.. cuz i refrain ppl from using the copy button) haha BLEAH!
so visit me when u guys have time. i'll snap pics with my fone for now. oR else.. i'll have to borrow cams from alfie and hope he lends me. he kinda lost hiss camera's remote.. and i feel kinda guitly too.. cuz i was also using it.. oops... haha i can use not really proper words here cuz i'm using real words at my journal. so i think its going to be alright.

OK... going to catch STOMP later! haha cant wait. but its like one of the lousier seats la.. student seats. OMG.. cant believe it.. OK.. she talked to me again today.. to just ask wad mod i'm having at the start of the sem. oh well den that's it. there aint no more topics that i can really find to talk to her about. its not that i dont wanna talk . To me, U are the best and probably the onli person that i wish to confide with. have conversations with but things arent getting any better. things have to end here..and that mich din reply.. evil PIG... haha..

OK guys that read this, PLEASE do not link my multiply add... yea... i have to complete it totally first.. i dont like showing ppl my naked page.. bare and all but u guys can go read about my FIRST journal entry there..its long though.. i think.. just some thoughts. yes.. yes...i'll link it from my blog soon.. when i can get some interesting things up in there first. OK??

haha i do sound happy arent i? cuz i got the jamming room on fri! cool! going to swee lee this time. yeaps.. but am i happy??

2.30pm

seemingly my posts seems to gets more and more even though i'm writing like one or two posts.. to me, its not really happening on the webbie.. it comes up to 3-4 post... its too much..

ok... now seeing her online.. is like strange...
even having to give a simple double click.. and start a conversation seems hard...everything seems hard... when it seems that i can type so much to strangers online.. in a chatroom.. and all.. typing some caring words... becomes so difficult..

everything i do now seems so difficult... met shawn in cheers during my class chalet... and he.. thought that i was with yulin... =.= she's my da jie... so i told him no... den i just smiled.. when he talked about her..Hmmm den i quickly introed him to yulin... haha learning to change topic.. and it worked... he left... later on... first time i drank long island that night.. aint that nice... but i managed to down 1/2 of it before we went in.. shouldnt have downed it in one shot.. mad man.. that's y my face was all red when i went in... sadly i din knock out.. just got abit.. wild for 1 hour.. yeaps while playing cards...

sea breeze also sucks.. dammit... i'm broke now.. really.. and i owe rain 20 for the chalet... sigh.. dont know what's wrong with me now...slept at 1230 last night... after watching tv... sigh my fone is dead.... literally..

whatever fiqie said is true.. true to the core that forgetting is tough.. yes... and i now am unsure of my abilities to forget..guess she might think that i've already done forgetting her.. but.. sigh..i cant i really cant... during the chalet.. every little thing that i did.. walking alone... den stopping to look at the stars.. reminded me of her.. her blog... that is.. den i stopped doing that.. but my frens started to stare at it... dammit.. den came shawn.. dammit.. sigh.. everything seems to be linked to you.. and whenever i try something... i cant stop this pop up in my head... it comes on.. so very often..



i'm walking in circles..
doing nothing to myself
except feeling the pain of my actions..
i feel so cheap...
yea everytime i see a gerl.. any gerl to be infact
i see u.. literally.. its not that i want it.. just me perhaps..
drugs make u fat.. but u are one that i cant seem to get enough of.
suffering in my own silence.. i tire myself out to sleep.. but everynight
i wake up
i wake up hoping.. to see
the message that u'll never send..
a message that i'll never recieve...
dont see me now..
i'm useless.

1.49pm

Ok back from my chalet... ok.. not alot of ppl knew that i went to my class chalet.. but YAR... i went and slept at 6+++ am and woke up not long after that.. HAIZ... talked to fiqie.. for an hour i think..as sharain's mom came... YES... haiz....

OK... the bbq was great.. din play pool sadly.. but they bowled.. haha equally good... i went there after my bowling training.. so really din feel like bowling again... so yeaps... the parents came for the bbq.. and it became really.... lively.. LOL and yesh.. i juz knew that fiqie and ernst are like together la.. LOL haha oops... really blurr la... Not that i dun want to realise.. LOL see them so close... yeaps... Hmmm den went to walk for 2 hours on the beach... till time passed... yes.. went out at 3... shh.... my mom might kill me for doing that... LOL... yes... and i walked by myself for 20+minutes.. i think... juz wanted to think clearly... think there were enuff sensible people there to know how i feel.. so yeaps... when i came back... we sat for a while more... den i walked off and noticed that there were like crab movement markings on the sand... den i went to sit down..

nearly got frightened to death when this cat popped up under my sit... after it played in the grass ahead.. it headed towards me la.. den i got a shock.. wanted to scratch it.. but... haiz... thought of all the LICE.. lol haha stray mah...lol haha so den it came up to the bench to sit next to me... haiz.. so cool la.. wanted to take foto of it la.. LOL so freaking gothic la the cat...-.-.. we did the same things la.. as i scratched my face... it did the same to itself la.. so cute man LOL bloody big eyes and all... haha den i left cuz of its freaking huge spider on the bench la... LOL hhmmmm nice cat..ya... so cool la...

then we went back to the chalet.. played card games till it was like 7... like that.. HAHA yeaps...then sleep for awhile till that fiqie that woke up so early... woke me up... by climbing down the stairs!! haha actually my ears damn sensitive... LOL den i say she walk like dinosaur la.. LOL haha heavy gal.. BLAH..... den i did wad i promised her... after i came back from the toliet... yeaps talked till rain's mom came... at 930.. we were talking outside mah... haha LOL so no choice... LOL help keep the stuff too... HAIz... that fiqie ah... Hmmm relax fiqie... dont worry too much... if u do...the thing that we were talking about.. comes under stress... and fiqie.. i'm sorry too that i was not in the actual right of mind when i talked to u... maybe sometime later.. haha it might be better... But remember... letting things out is good... lets others understand u ah.. HAHA i bet u already know that.. hahah oh well saw something that i shouldnt have seen when i entered the room to get my fone at 6... WHAHAHA die sia... secrets can be kept u lil gerl promise... whahaha...

alright i'm getting real tired... my mind is like drifting so much la.. LOL ok... gtg..bb
2.40 pm

alright. i forgot to post that i went to MARK's place yest.. din noe why i went there.. to steal internet when i got it at home.. .. he din have drums so i was there.. 'helping' them practice... ripped 3 cds at his place.. yeaps.. his house is like cool.. MAN... he got his OWN PERSONAL desktop!!! WTH.. the one in my room is my fam's one... so yea.. my dad complains if i use it to game.. so i'd better not do that... i now game on my lappy!.. oh right... stopping all my haha's hehe's and hmm's already...

Hmm found out some things yesterday.i mean this early morning.. when i slept at 2.. yeaps.. i found out that the world is round. and people in it live lives like it was nothing.

OK... i want to play drums again! its so stress relieving.. though i aint got any stress... but hell... i dont care... just going to hammer the cymbals and snare... all the way!.. IF i'm going that is.

ok going out today.. just hanging around orchard.. think i wanna call people to join me... but hell... Wonder wad's mark doing later...soccer i guess.. haven kicked it in a century.. wanna play tennis man.. haiz..

if u dont tell me anything...
i'll be here wondering...
just wondering the time away...
like how u threw me on the road
and left me to die.

leave me hanging in thin air
where the air is so thin that i can hardly breathe
so there's nothing left suffice to make me live
maybe hearing things that u say now
might just disappoint me

hating me telling u how to live your life
i know that i'm your liability
so i'll disappear like what i did to most of my frens
remember that i WAS once here
i will disappear from u like what u hate me to do.

...fading away 11.00am

Haiz.. yeaps hope that alfie gave me somethings that are correct... HMM hopefully... i'll be able to go jam again.. going to swee lee this time.. HOPEFULLY... mark booking it i think...

not going out with van le... from my point... kena pang seh.. so NVRM forget it... got pissed off with my attitude.. so hell care... sang till my voice felt real funny... haiz... very sore right now.. think i got nothing left ba...

hearing our lady peace now... peaceful... sigh.. got nothing interesting to write anymore.. only that i went to marks place.. today...

when u shoot someone in the **** pink liquid pours out
and i was eating mac when mark said that.. mixing myo and chilli together when i was eating the FRIes... come to think of it... i'm getting fatter... Hmmm got 2 polo shirts yesterday... finally.. from GIODANO.. i like it.. PLAIN and ex,.. 35 for 2... LOL and it costs 22 for 1!! WTH right... so there was me wearing my new shirt...

now thinking of that v-neck tee that she gave me.. that brown v-neck tee.. haven even tried it out yet.. still in my cardboard... don't know if i should take it out to wear.. maybe tmr.. or days after that... getting lonely this few days...

even as all my frens seem to around me... i still feel lonely... i really still feel that loneliness.
talking is useless...not that the ppl that i talk to works.. think i MIGHT be going to the chalet BBq but still not that sure yet.. sigh..

signing off at 7.10 pm

Hmmm it has been 24 whole hours that i've not went online..
in which...
15 minutes that i spent eating quick dinner
3 hours i spent playing tennis in the rain
8 hours i spent sleeping
30 minutes i spent bathing
40 minutes that i spent travelling to chua chu kang
10 mins walking to the dental centre
1 hour to wait for my turn
20 minutes to do my dental check up
1.5 hours in the library waiting for the movie
2.2 hours watching the most touching show i've watched this year
15 minutes waiting for my bus
30 minutes for the travel back home
45 minutes of day dreaming till dinner
30 minutes of eating simple dinner
30 minutes in the bathroom
and finally time to switch on the router to go online.

LOL haha that i think isnt exactly correct... haha BUT i tried to fit the times right. alright.. LOL could remeber that well FIRST TIME... yup... i pulled out my toe nail today.. so ya it kinda hurts... LOL but i love pain.. HAHA yes and i'm going to put on braces.. LOL no matter what i'm going to psycho my mom to allow me to do that.. anyway... going to take out my wisdom tooth too.. Hmm yes top AND bottom.. though i feel that the top is alright.. BUT hell.. haha PAIN is for PLEASURE... hmm yeaps... den played tennis in the rain last night.. Hmm was pretty alright.. YES... think i hurt my hamstring too.. it didnt feel that right... hmm kinda hurt a bit when i ran... yeaps.. my fone didnt even gave a short beep when i didnt bother to care on the list of homo sapiens in it..Hmmm sorry DA JIE. yes.. i tired at times... think myself to sleep... yeaps tire myself... yes.. but seemingly.. it.. didnt come to mine...i mean love that is... Hmmm

borrowed some books today... realised that I COULD borrow books haha so borrowed 4 LOL dunnoe can finish them by the twelve... yeaps..

watched cinderella man.. its like cool too.. kinda touching and all...yes... haiz.. nothing more to write right now.. so.. yeaps.. take care folks

916PM

LOL okok... i lazy to really blog last night... seems like... ya... slept at 3++ yesterday.. LOL cannot tahan talking to the wall on the fone la!lol... almost fell asleep on the FONE! haha whaha... ok le... today think i going to sleep abit earlier la..

watched boring football yesterday... LOL... liverpool draw with manu.. LOL haha don care le... LOL hmmm wanna sleep... cuz got nothing left to do le.. my mom don allow me to go out le lo... SIAN sia... Hmmm wanna go out on thursday instead... HAiz... haha.. talking to myself again.. LOL haha jus realised that..i've not listened to my caesars CD for a long time le>... now listening... LOL hmmm ok... this week no job... LOL i mean i din manage to get the job lo... HAHA so hell le... don care..

Last night was looking out my window... den noticed a star... den thought to myself that i'm staring at a star.. Hmm then somehow it linked to her.... Hmm i noticed that i'm not significant to her at all... so she'll not be that significant to me either... if it is like that... LOL hwhwhwhwhahaha LOL haiz... wanna go out sia... stuck in here.. and i cant get out there... wanna go marina square.. LIKE damn nice sia... yesterday go.. LOL i wanna play pool too... HMmm so many things i wanna do... LOL haiz...what is everyone doing sia... where are my sec sch frens...haiz.. no one to depend on is not that good... haiz... my head is spinning again... Hmmm ok got to stop using LOL... haha... and Hmmm liao.. too stupid.. my vocab is really going man... Hmmm could not remember some words yesterday too... sigh... oh well...

who wants to go out with me man... *sigh*

2.44pm

OK.. i am feeling relatively lazy to blog this morning... this bloody morning... got 4.5 hrs of sleep when i planned for around on 2... Hmmm yeaps... woke up at 1045... should i specify more? hahah I aint that grumpy if i don get enuff sleep ba,,.. HAHA i ... am pretty ok with sleeping little bits... so ya... haiz... was at 3 when i smsed Mark... on his fone... LOL at 5... tell him that i not going out le... haha LOL guess my mom wouldnt allow it man... HAiz..yeaps... and think she knew that i was gaming last night... like at 4... but it was one game that lasted for 20 mins la... I was bored.. dead bored... smsed ppl that i tot would sleep so early one.. but they all sleep le... Last we turned on the aircon... so i was in my room alone lo...hah.... sian the soccer matches were a bore la.. LOL and CHARLTON lost to CHELSEA... haiz... was hoping that it was a DRAW... dammit... din care anyway... the 11 pm matches were like so boring la.. LOL score onli like at most 2 goals each game... zzz.... LOL den watch this Drift race on discovery channel.. LOL haha funny sia... LOL but damn cool lo... it reminded me of the game i played at 10 man haha.. Hmmm yeap...

So i was like listening music and trying to get 'lifestyles' right... But i realised that there were more small things that i missed out man... shit... that guy is good... But hell... LOL green day is even worse... OMG... i wanna go learn drums at yamaha liao...MAn... wait.. maybe i should ask like next week... when things get better... hopefully... tell them that i'll wear ear plugs i guess... or ear mufflers..I wanna learn drums... its going to keep me occupied with life anyway...

Shit man... my hamstring hurts.. like shit... cant run... DAMmit.. alright.. from tmr on... i'm going to publish sensible constructive words.. alright... see ya... seeing daylight pass is easy with things to do..

1.47pm

Hmmm whahah now posting 2 times each day!!! haha LOL =p.... went out to jam today haha... LOL let everything out on the drums le... HAHAHAH lol... nearly deaf after TRYING to play each song... LOL... haha and mark said i played pretty well for a person who hasnt touched a drum set b4... LOL Hmmm ya maybe... cuz i was letting my anger bit by bit out BA den like that la... But really... i was like trying to imitate the drums in the song... but playing lifestyles was easier... yeah LOL but i cant get my feet working properly... dunnoe how to really beat the bass properly lo.. everytime... it'll like follow my lefty... SIAN... haha oh well... SHIT sia... the seession... 2hrs wasnt cheap too la... FREAk.... 34... LOL sian... Hmmm think see got other place cheaper anot la... LOL that's like 850 per person... 425 each hour! FREAK.. LOL we were at potong pasir la!! WAD THE HEELLLL hah but the NEL cool sia.. haha LOL so empty... ghost... LOL anyway...

YA... den went to habourfront... to eat actually.. den we felt like taking the cable car... haha den take lo... LOL all the way to sentosa haha thought of eating there... HAHA den take.. the bench ride or what ever they call it there... to the beach haha LOL 5 bucks... LOL haha den take le... go beach.. freak la... so damn scary up there la... freak..(ok... first thing u gotta noe... william hasnt gotten over his fear of heights.. maybe cuz he's been looking down all the while... and secondly the safety rail can be lifted up so easily...and i got pranky frens that arent as afraid of heights that much as me... when i see that i'm high up.. i see death ok.. onli that) YEAP>.. went to the beach sit there for like dunno... 1 hour i think.. or lesser haha LOL see the sun set.. LOL ok la.. haven really set yet la... den take the free shuttle back.. haha overshot the bus stop... den.. walk all the way back to the ride... back to the cable car tower... LOL haha den it was like... dunno wad time la.. but like quite dark le.. LOL and they were playing all the way up again la... HAHA shit bags... LOL yea there was this couple of malays there... and like they tried to make fun of us la.. cuz the rest of them were like holding their guits... LOL haha den like cliff and ken shoot back la... HAHAH but like joking like that la... HAHA ok...

got back to the cable car tower... den we... took the PURPLE car back... haha den take to mount faber la... haha LOL all the way back there... LOL they din noe can take la.. but i think could so anyway we stayed on... den rode back all the way to harbourfront from there.. LOL ahha we 'attracted' alot attention from passing cabins too haha LOL cuz they wanted to shout and verbalise their hatred... at fellow homo sapiens too.. SO.. ya.. LOL haha...

den went to harbourfront's food court to eat lo... LOL mad sia.. hAHAH spent like 40 today haha... LOL so eat le.. it was like 9 pm le... LOL cool sia... so they accompanied me to walk lo... Den go arcade.. haha onli spend 2 bucks ah!... LOL nothing more... LOL nothing to do lo.. wanted to play the drums but other people playing.. sian.. so play the gay game.. OUTRUN 2!! LOL shit sia... nothing that nice la.. HAHA so... i was like... oh ok... haha LOL mark put token into wrong machine.. den i siao siao aso go put.. so in the end can play 5 times like that lo.. AHHAHA LOL... den after that i took 184 home lo.. while they all walked home haha 1030 le.. haha they damn kind la.. LOL oh well.. yeaps... now 1158 le.. nvr msg her for the whole day le... i dunnoe if i should... so nvrm... gotta go liao.. or else mom will nag le... byes....

i dunno what else can i do when things end up like this...
will u miss me...
will u think of me?
but to me its unlikely to happen...
1200pm

ok... GOODDDDDDDD morrrrnnning ppl... its 1130.. haha and GUESS WAD... i'm not having training today!!! yeppie.. means i can save wat remains of my muscles to do some damage to my ears before i lose them!! oh ok.. my internet is giving me shit problems... dammit... nothing seems like it is ever going to work man... and now my mom is calling every one of my uncles(her bros) and aunts/(her sis) over to celebrate latern fest here!! DAMMIT... shit man i cant take this liao every time my mom uses the shitty fone this happens... DAMn her... ok fuck.. found the problem... and stupid of her she asks why can plug directly into the socket... fuck man... IRRITATING bitch... haiz... forget it... i'm gettin pissed for nothing... oh well... think i'm getting abit too vulgar man.. ok... sorry peps...

well.... maybe after i get into my new hobby.. i think i would stop caring so much about myself.. or others to be that fact... i dunnoe... maybe... sometimes i think so much myself that my thoughts.. can change my logical thinking.... yeaps... i'll try to stop it ya... and ya... now the feeling is gone... so i aint that worried anymore... sorry now people if i give u some who-cares attitude... i guess that i might need to find myself a little more...

reminds me.. after that time i went out with jie... i tot.. tat i'd be better off deaf... being a deaf... but then silence makes u feel more pain.. so what can i do now... ... letting off now is so much easier. really.

OK... i'm getting into my freak mood again... haha maybe i'll read more and go blind... gonna jam later... and my mom dont know that it ends at 5... she said come home before 11... so i guess... i'm going down to town to hang around... by myself again i guess... hopefully mark will be free or something... Hmm maybe call zhi... see he free later anot lo... HAIz... i not waiting le... LOL today is be myself day.. and do what i want day... so freak me if i still wanna care...

yesterday... had a pretty nice... suanning session... maybe i'm going to have that today too... i dont know... yups...maybe this time cliff going to suan me le.. i dont know... going out at 1 le... and i'm still like here... haiz.. going to stay out for 10 hours today.. no matter what i dont care... maybe i'll go to the library ba... HAIz...

If u see me giving u msgs that says haha... it doesnt mean that i'm happy... after all words are just words and we are humans that manipulate the language to fit our usage.. oh well... yes we immoral souls that creep upon this degrading land that we call earth..

well... when people walk upon this land they all have an equal status.. and to change them u must be some what respected and notice by that certain individual... so i noticed that i aint that person... to anyone.. so well.. i'm not that great...


haiz.. i dream that u'll reply me at times at night... but when i wake up and look at my fone... i wont see what i hope..what i dream seems so real that i wish for it to be true.. sometimes it aint that good but at least something happens in my dreams... haiz.. we are getting futher apart.. and there's nothing i can do about it...

1205 pm

Hmm kk back from tennis.. LOL... haha ya went out... juz now... to play badminton... this afternoon... went to play badminton... den go... taka... haha got van a birthday gift... le... Hmm and its not that i want that la... i'm gonna get her a better one la.. HAHA soon... cuz i'm really broke... HAHA but the gift is kinda... FUNNY too..haha yeah... got fiqie's stuff and it was already 650 le... ahhaha den went to KFC to find it filled with shitty ppl.. LOL hahha

Den i kope place... shit sia... should not have ordered 3 pc chicken meal to eat la... LOL nearly cannot finish... LOL hahah juz remembered that fiqie said something real smart today.. whahaha this is the conversation we had to the redhill MRT lo.. haha..
she said that she loves chicken... haha and i pointed out that there's this dead(trampled) bird on the way there lo.. and she said: OMG its like DEAD... yucks.... ... .. i knew what she was hitting at... but had this boredom to turn her language around... so... i said: so u dont eat dead birds eh.. LIKE them LIVE dont u... LOL...

den go KFC aso like that... haha complain that the chicken is like FROZEN... LOL like ROCK like that... haha den di siao her again haha...LOL... FIQIE likes to eat things while they're fresh man... LOL realised that fiqie is one very very very very very blur KID>.. lOL and she calls me her child... LOL OMG... haha i cannot be related to her this way man.. hahah IT MAKES no sense... LOL... ya... maybe it was rather true.. LOL could have took like 30-45 mins to reach home after that but took me 1.5 hrs instead... cuz guess wad... i took the MRT instead of the bus... SHIT... i was like at outram den realise lo... SHIT man... i stood all the way la... LOL

AND after getting back... 9 pm... i chiong to the tennis court.. LOL play with my sis fren.. haha and BF... LOL dunnoe ow to play one lo... den anyhow hit become not too bad lo.. HAHAH lol..sweat like shit sia,... my shirt was like soaked in sweat when i got home lo.. at 10... LOL hmmm ya.... LOL drank loads of water liao lo.. 4 bottles.. maybe like 2 litres... LOL mad sia.. and tmr like still got training lo... bowling... SIAO liao... hand going to drop off le.. or tmr cant even lift my 15 pound ball le... Hmmm but surely muz go le... or else cannot go out with cliff le... LOL JAMMMMM!!! haha LOL asked alfie to teach me drums le... but dunnoe if he going to teach anot lo... and no equipment... sian... haha oh well hope that yan dao going to teach me lo... HMm the lang he uses in his BLOG is so deep... Hmmm maybe i should learn abit... den my standards might some how improve...

Yu lin aso like so dao lo go up and nvr play liao lo once he came... SIAN... don like that la... LOL still frens mah... AIYOH...*bangs head against the wall* haiz... kk...?? plsplsplspls... haiz..

HAHA now is like the onli time that i'm really sitting down today lo since 3 ba... HAHA lol kk... my mom scolding le... sian... HAHA gotta go off le... BYE!!! SHIT DRUMS.. how how how.. i nervous to play sia... take care u guys

arm aint dropping off le... cuz its servered...
1130pm

Ok SHIT.... yesterday was SHIT... pure SHIT... DAMMMIT... that freaking bitch that interviewed me... ok 3 of us... was like FUCK... dammit... should have listened more to that interview thingy about selling that pen more man... FREAK... should have checked up on the webbie for things about that stupid shitty company... dammit..

OK... get this.. i was supposed to sell this pen to her.... FREAK... my stupid brain could not think of what to say... and there's this rich bitch look alike.. that was in the same interview as me.. she was like "OH i've been promoting products for long... and i want to set up my own company... so i wish... to blah... blah blah.." HAIz.. but to admit it... she was good.. and i was glad that she was there... or else i wont like push myself... i realise that we were like competing with each other la.. LOL forget it... DAMN... she was good.. i din think of white gold...and what serwostcky diamonds or something like that... HAHAHA lol... KK anyway... i dun really want the job... BUT i want the money..i'm kinda like desperately broke right now... HAIZ>.... oh well...

YEAPS.... shit man... my interview was like supposed to be at 330... and like it should have been done by 4 la... and i went home at 5 instead shit... DAMMMIT.. oh well... gonna play badminton later... yup... and fiqie's coming late too...

Hmmm realised that i can jump pretty high now.. HAHA think i might just be able to hang on to a normal bball rim now.. haha LOL instead of just touching it now... HOpefully i can dunk...

YEAH.. i going to jam tmmr... hhaha Hopefully... ya haven seen cliff mark and ken for awhile le.. haha LOL wonder if mark still has his mohawk... HAHA cool ya... and soon after i get the hang of drums... think we might be forming a band man... haha... lets jus hope that willie can make it...

cuz the guit gave up on him... and all... haha lets hope now that he can control his limbs... YA>.... some ppl never reply again today... Hmm wait 4 so long lo... den i decide to sleep le... Hmmm... haiz... alright ba.... couldnt sleep much last night too... slept at 1... den woke up at 730 after my mom left...

1015am

I feelmuchbetterNOWthatYOUareHERE

ok... the interview yesterday was by the recruitment agency... have another one today... Hmmm yups... LOL at 330... sians.... now regretting that i'm going to work... SHIT...

Hmmm yups.... got comics yesterday.. that comic shop guy say next month den renew my membership ba... WHAHAHA(save 10 bucks le) Hmmm van's and cindy's b dae coming le... haiz... dun noe if i should get something for cindy anot la.. HMm maybe i should... But how to pass to her sia... Hmmm anyway... Yups... got 4 comicz yesterday.. LOL haha

i was at ps la... Den ber called... haha LOL talked for so long lo... HMmm like 1.5 hrs i think... haha Hmmm yups.. she went to suntec den had to go back to cine.. whaha i was laughing at her la...(feels bad...) ahaha but heck lo... Hmmm ya... think i got my punishment later on... went down to meet her... she wanted me to(ok.. fine i offered) pay for her movie ticket lo... so ok lo.. and Hmmm i stayed on to wait fer her lo.. HAHA went to taka after meeting her... it was 520 liddat.. Hmmm yups...

went to the library... and guess wad... i read one whole book within that time that i was waiting for her... haha Terry Prachett(i think like that spell ba) hah LOL cant remember liao.. it was a rather short book... haha LOL like kindergarden ppl read one... LOL 132 pages... hah

realised that my reading was pretty slow le... Hmmm muz read more le... Hmmm that book wasnt that bad... no wonder when i was in sec sch.. see Cliff keep reading that author one lo... LOL oh ya... that was called wings i think... had to do with nomes one... haha when i read finish... it was like 830 ba... LOL 3 hours haha LOL den i heard that the library going to close at 9... den go see comic section.. LOL and den i realised that Hellboy is kinda ugly in comics... LOL haha den left taka at 845.. like that...went to HMV again.. to see Fall Out Boy the cd again.. before leaving to 7 eleven to get one drink as i walked to the bus stop... Hmmm...

was all the while waiting for ber la.. and she din tell me that the show changed to 730 le la... was supposed to wait till 730 for her lo... den sms her at that time... den she tell me that the show so late.. i sian diao.. HAIZ... but i was almost done with the book so heck la.. read finish lo... haiz... yups...

den wait for the bus for 20 mins la... sian... haiz... 915 den the bus come... but the bus like damn fast la... LOL the driver mad de.. Hmmm yups... reached home at 950 just before my time... haiz... don feel that well man... HAIZ...

ber din seem ok when she reached home at 11 ba.. LOL hmm think she tired ba cuz she said that nothing went wrong..Hmmm guess its alright ba.. Hmmm

OH yeah.. MARK if ya reading this, i got my sticks le.. LOL dunnoe how to choose man.. LOL haha wanted to buy travis barker's mod llo.. But 2 bucks more.. so heck la.. LOL white sticks... i wanna JAM!!! haha LOL

12.01pm

Going to register for this work thingy with huifang(my sis's fren) today.... later at 1230... Hmmm yups..
just realised that some people are not replying me.. -_-
haiz... oh well... ok.. guess wad.. i'm lost for ideaS!!! hah LOL oh well... lets see what my whacky mind can come up with later on... I think its going to be fast ba... Hmmm yup...

I feel weird today again... Hmmm yups yups... haiz... weirdo willie is back man... haiz...

make it go away man.. LOL okok... its 10 50.. and i just changed my blog skin... its ugly ya... and i think i need help with the placing of photos... cuz when i seem to type the codes right, my pics don really end up that right..haha LOL ya... got my band thingy up le... HAHA.. LOL needed to find things to do mah.. LOL

oh ya the thing is ..... my bloggie now has no time... so i'll end off and start off by saying the time next time i think... yeppie... no one's caring about me le... wohoo.. LOL... hmmm

went on to see blogs this morning... and noticed that time tells alot about people.. Hmm yes..

being hanged out to dry... hanging on the thread that defines nothing...
falling... into empty spaces... not hitting anything... not knowing if the ground is going to be soft... or would the impact kill me literally..

leaving me around... would just drive me nuts..

i'm just information deprived i guess.... i still dont know u...

guess i'll end here...

wondering if u hear me
writing names just wont do u any good
1055 am
Listening to : "reply" by staind
life will never be the same cuz...

Hmm went out to book badminton court with da jie today...
met her at delta at 215 like that...
yups.... and went out after that.. and i cant believe that people have already booked nearly all the courts man shit...

HMmm den went out with her man... haha first time out alone with da jie... LOL really like da jie lo..
Hmmm bought shuttle cocks for friday liao...ok?? (fiqie)
yups Hmmmm... and watched Red Eye with da jie too haha LOL hmm oh well... IDIOTIC man... its so boring... haha its not that scary... Hmmm yups... i wanna watch skeleton key le...

Hmm din msg her today... resisted it so much... that i hadnt eaten anything since breakfast... except those nachos.. i had in the theatre...

Hmmm realised that i really miss her... its too much man... wanted to talk to da jie about it... but... it just couldnt come out... stuck inside... as i supposed... Yups...

Hmmm just hope that she can stand this with me... cuz... i'm fickle minded yes... but its all because... its all because.. i hadnt fallen for some one so deeply for so long... KK i admit it... i like people damn easily... i like them like in a snap of a finger... But for me to like them whole heartedly, I... onli had this once... and ... it din end up right... so... i'm afraid of manythings now... and... i'll try to tell u all these k... its not that i like recalling up my past but... i'll let u in.. on this... yes.. i'll do that...

I know.. i'm a guy that had too many chances and to me u are a person that made me realise that opening up again might feel good... might feel as happy again...

Today... i really saw no one that i could approach when i had problems... and u just kept popping up in my mind... though u arent in the mood right now... i just kept thinking of u..i tried thinking of watching movies alone again... and... i dont want that feeling again... I really dont want to end up like that again... watching movies alone...its just so ccold.....

sometimes feeling warmth again might make u fear of the heat... but as it cools... u might really wish that u had that warmth... and to me u are it.. u got frens that understand u.... understand how u work.. that understand when u need help... but i onli can open up to the person closest to me... and that means u... but... u got ur troubles already... and opening up now... is just really going to irritate u...

the things i do at times... is to protect me.. sometimes.. it wont hurt as bad if there aint much contact.. But it seems that i'm breaking apart the more i dont contact u... but contacting u equally tears me apart cuz i cant seem to cheer u up any better...



I feel useless.. maybe i am..

I couldnt reallly sleep last night..
waking up to look at my fone.. countless times...
everytime i close my eyes... ur face pops up..
everytime that happens... i dont know what else can i say..

yeah.. i guess its horrible... for me to feel like that..
guess its worse when i care too much..
yup.. apologies dont work when i've made so many mistakes ei?
I get affected by people real easily..
and if u dont have the mood... to talk or do anything,
i'll equally feel the same...

but at times i try to change all that... i try to make talking better..
but..replies like that dont allow me to go further than one more question..
guess i care too much...
and it seems like u are getting further and further away each time.

the more i want to let go on u..
the more i fall even deeper...
its like i WANT to know u...
but somehow i cant...
u got great frens already treasure them...

everytime i wanna call... i ask..
maybe someday i'll call not asking...

But it just messes me up inside when i cant talk well...
especially to u...
and if u are reading this right now...
i'm going to give u ur space back...
cuz i've been too self centred..
too sickening...
even if at times when u say that its ur mood...
i get the feeling that it isnt..
i get the feeling that its me...

i dont know what can i say right now...
guess that i'm a little too much of a virgo...
hoping that everything might just turn out right...
when i get too emotional myself.. its horrible...

cuz the thing is... it doesnt turn out right

hmm... alright... spent a day yesterday in the library... bored to death... man... yup... den went shopping... haha for things that i owe ppl... haha.. Hmmm yups... boring day in all... but ... i realised that carrying a big winnie the pooh is not a very smart thing to do.... especially when orhard road has so many people out there... ya... isnt very nice too... Hmmm spent quite some cash yesterday... was hoping that i'd lesser than i planned and i did... Hmmm yups... Hmm but not by alot... Hmmm i dont know where i'm getting with this...

I think i'm not that good in cheering people up that well too.. Hmm ya...

i'm too free for my own good.

I feel so insane...
everything that i do seems to fall in vain..
trying too hard i am...
maybe... i dont know what to think...

sorry if i should not have appeared...
sorry if you didnt hope for me to appear..
i tried not to appear... i tried... ok...
sat there... alone... on the beach for 5 hours. yeah... this is my own doing... i noe... sat there.. doing nothing... reading articles over and over again... seeing people walk past me... yes... i noe... this is one shit head... yup... i am one... but i'm ur shit head...

sorry if i'm too obsessive...
sorry... if i wish to see u...
sorry... i just aint fit for u i guess... i dont know why... i could just sit there... doing nothing...
test of will? no... i thought of renting a bike... but.. din... wanted to walk.. wanted to hurt myself... till the time when i was about to leave... when i asked if u wanted the coke... i was free.. planning to roam the rest of the city... i could not take it anymore... i was too alone.. i was becoming schizophrenic... all these conversations in my head

sorry... if i seem useless... i guess....
i'm useless without u...
when i have nothing to do, i... flash thoughts in my mind..
hopefully we get to go out again..

HOPE...
everytime... its going to fail me again...
hoping too much... haiz..

sorry if u read this...
baby here is a stupid guy...

a day i cannot forget

So... sorry haven been blogging for so long... haha... yeaps... got a book from van and Rx... and they got me swensens icecream cake! hahah so cool... they r some frens man haha... glad to know them... thanks Rx and VAn... its the best birthday i had(even though i bbqed most of the time.. hope the food was edible ya?) hyaha YEs... had bbq... Hmmm ya... sorry guys... i wanted a small one... its going to be bigger next year... i'll call more ppll promise.. haha yeaps... haha Hmmmm at home now... after a... haha enjoyable day... haha

Yeaps... went out with ber yesterday... went to the movies... before she went to work... haha she bought me a shirt haha... from her holiday,... haha thanks ber! Hmm... ya... watched the longest yard... was funny man... the jokes were real... funny haha... but... yeah... the movie seemed to pass so slow... haha wont forget it... haha yah!.. that idiot popcorn store... on the 6 lvl... din open la... and i had to go down to the 5th to get popcorn la... haha LOL wth.. Anyway.. popcorn was my dinner.. din feel like eating after that.. haha LOL so i waited for ber... ya... to get off from work... haha Idiot man... i thought that 3 hours was real short.. but i then realised that if u had nothing to do, IT passes like... OMG... freaking slow la... dammit... drank... 2 iceblended mochas... haha LOL in 3 hours... walked up and down wisma atria... countless times... walked back and forth to cine... 4 times... in total... haha got staind's CD yesterday.. haha ber promised to help me got BEP's monkey business from jo... haha so yeah.. din get that monkey... yups... haha now... i rarely smile anymore... dammit... haha think because of that 17 ba... haha LOL dunnoe... was at cine when this lady came up to do a survey.. and she said i din look like 17 LA... she said i looked real mature... HEll... OMG... i look old... hmm...

Ya... after that, went to accompany ber to meet jo... as they went to cine to look for hao they all... so my legs were like tired in the end... and i cant sleep with the 2 mochas... feels weird lo... haha LOL cant drink too much le... haha>>... going out again next week... haha cant wait LOL... Not going to van's place today le... haah she wanna study... so cant help do up her lappy... till her satisfaction haha... LOL ya... first time i stayed up so late to sms la.. haha 3 am... LOL weird... cuz i cant sleep too ba... Hmmm ber is going to chalet tonight... haha and everyone around me is having their exams... haha nothing to do man... SLACKz.... haha feel so free... haha

think i wrote enough? haha... been writing in my book that i got too... hah more personal stuff... Hmmmm lets juz hope that it remains that way...