listen.
FREAK listen.
that's what i learnt that some people lack in. OH wait.,. FREAK they don even HAVE it.. to hear... FREAK... i juz cant wait till i cannot hold it in any longer.. I've not hurt myself yet. NOT yet... JUZ cant wait till i do... man.. i try USING The scissors.. HMmm...

Bowled u-21 today....freak... CANT even get my hand straight... ALL my shots FLYING away... and i was last on the table... GREAT aint it.? my mom's pissed but she juz don understand... that freak... what does she think she is? man..i was trying so freaking hard... I was so lost so... confused.. and they BARELY even knew that i had a headache while i was bowling... after that... in the car... they said things so bloody sarcasticly.."wha HAPPY now right? LAST on the TABLE... happy that EVERYone BEAT u RIGHT?" FUCK them la... what's with them... they think that bowling is so easy.. why don they try? they were nagging at me in the car... WTH la... i was planning to jump out land hard and maybe end my life TODAY.. BUT what can i feel... NOTHING... they then went on with my sch... LIKE hell they noe me... I'm their son... and when they SAID that they din like me having so many CCAs... HELL... what's with them... THEY DON EVEN NOE THAT I HAVE onli 1 CCA now.. freak !...it hurts me so much la.. not to bowl well... they think that i'm like MY COUSIN... but hell i cant even get some BASIC things right and they EXPECT me to BOWL like those that bowled in CDL... i knew FROM yesterday AFTER watching CDL that they would SAY things like this... BUT hell i was hoping that i HAD the strength to BOWL... i bowled BLOODY 12 games yesterday la! FREAK... and they still said that i should bowl more... FREAk man.. I'm NOT A bloody ROBOT.. FOR god's sake... I feel tired too... I'll sleep so early today... that i'll wake up like 4 tmr... and eat something... den hopefully i leave the house as early as i can...

THEY WANT ME TO SHUT UP? FINE!I'LL SHUT THE HELL UP...
BUT JUZ DON FREAKING BLAME ME. THAT IF I DON TALK... CUZ I SNAP.. MAN.. THIS TIME I'LL REALLY FREAKING SNAP...

Joel felt that he's bowling badly.. then PPL he's NEAR the TOP.. what do u think I FEEL?

wearing a mask is the best thing i can so that PEOPLE around me don feel so sad... BOWLING... enjoy it... freak la.. MICH... what's WRONG... haiz.. i wonder if that line u have now is that painful or they red on my palm will hurt more...

GIVING up man... GUYS... i'm freaking GIVING up... HAVING tooo MUCH HOPES>.. I JUZ have too MUCH dreams...

keeping silent.
cuz that's all that matters.
VM