i was weird again yesterday.. think today too... aint feeling right... don noe... haiz...

they were bowling interclub yesterday. hmmm won the first, lost the second and third.. but they were playing alright.. just that the opposition was rather strong. the anchor... was like going for perfect game EVERYtime la... wah lao... he had like 2-4 spares each game... MAD ass... hmm but he's really cool too.... anyway... ya la.. haiz... don noe y... i had voice... but deep inside i didnt wanna shout... i don noe why i went there for... like i was there for nothing.. haiz... so tired too... anyway...

going to the beach today.. Hmmm going to have bbq with my primary sch frens...haiz.. think i'll go there and think more la... think bout nothing...i think that i'll be even worse when i come home.. haiz..

i always try to cheer myself up... Hmmm yah... to make ppl happy..hate to see ppl when they are sad... i remembered my grandpa last night while bathing... he passed away like a few years ago... he treated me real good when i was young.. cuz i was the oldest grandson in my mom's side.. Hmmm he really treated me real well... bought me ice cream and toys.. i miss him... and i remembered when i just entered sec sch.. sec1 that time... my aunt... she treated me real well too...(she's still around) she really made me feel touched man... it was the first time that someone... not my immediate family bought something that i really wanted for my birthday. it was the first time.. that on my birthday that i TRULY felt joyful felt bliss to have such ppl in my life.

but now... i'm juz lost... don noe where to go.. what to do... no one giving me instructions.. hmmm maybe i juz needa talk... i keep telling myself this "i'll be your ears if u'd dare to be mine" like IN hearing troubles... but when ppl agree... i seem to shunt away.... don noe y..

i started talking to myself while they were bowling yesterday... Hmmm cuz no one seem to notice me i guess... i juz lost myself..

sigh sigh sigh..think i'll stay quiet till ppl start calling me.or smsing me.. i dont noe.. wads wrong dude... wad's wrong.