its hard for things to be what they used to be when u know things that i shouldnt have let u know.
its hard for things to go on like what it used to when things are like that.
its hard for me to sleep at night when things keep popping up in mind.

I went to bed at11...last night.. and slept at 12... was thinking bout loads in bed last night.. how life was supposed to be great and all.. but it all doesnt... my pillow got all soaked because of this.. i just.. cant seem to figure it out... guess that's why people hate me..

i lost all my mood to eat now.. pretend that i'm hungry and eat all i can... i just do not know...i told myself that the mask that i used to wear in sec sch... i could wear no more... but it seems that i am so damn tempted to wear it once more.

i hurt myself in giving life one last chance and now... i'm peeling my skin out..

last night, for the first time..my heart hurt so bad that i literally could not breathe. that every breath that i tried to take... was stabbing deeper in my chest. thatworm... that is eating my heart has made his appitite so damn big.. i lost some thing last night.. that thing that motivated me to do my work... to live life to the fullest. i lost joy.